Me me me

17/4/21

I fell into a bit of a picture taking funk last year, but was then inspired by an episode of Elizabeth Gilbert’s old podcast ‘Magic Lessons with Elizabeth Gilbert’ (ep.208 if you want to know), where she spoke to a woman who didn’t feel able to call herself a poet. I can 100% relate as I’ve never felt comfortable with saying that I’m a photographer, because you know, real photographers have their work published, and therefor I don’t qualify (I’m not so hung up about that now, as I don’t really care about it as a label anymore; if someone asks I say I’m a photographer, and then the conversation just moves on). Anyway, Gilbert suggested a couple of ideas to the poet (see - I call her that!), one of which was that she should embark on a secret year-long project, which she wasn’t to show anyone until it was finished. The whole point was to create, without any input from anyone else, for your own pleasure, and away from any validation that social media gives you. I immediately knew what my secret project should be. A year’s worth of self portraits, using the self-timer on the camera, and only having three goes to get it ‘right’. I’ve said this so many times, but as I’m always behind the camera there are hardly any photos of me, so it really was a no-brainer. In the end I missed two days, as I had completely forgotten to take a pic on those days, but you know, whatever. I’m going to make a book of it, for myself, so there’s also a physical record of me between 16/4/21 and 16/4/22, and I’m naming it ‘Me me me’.

The picture above is from day 2, on what looks like a nice sunny day, in the garden, with me reading the paper. There’s a LOT of pictures of me reading, which feels good to see.

22/4/21
I didn’t use a tripod, apart from one pic I think, so I had to make use of the floor, shelves, tables - basically any flat surface I could find. I love this picture. That light was just a frickin’ gift!

30/4/21

Me and O reading our books next to each other before his bedtime. Most of the pictures are from home and my everyday life. I very rarely remembered to take a self portrait when I was out and about. A good creative challenge if there ever was one.

2/5/21

A lot of the time I’d forget to take a picture until I was about to go to bed (and a few times I’d remember with a jolt, as I was about to fall asleep).

5/5/21

This makes me laugh. My New Year’s resolution last year was to be able to do three pull ups. I totally failed. A few months before the end of the year my elbow joints gave out, so I couldn’t do any weights for a while, let alone pull ups exercises. Needless to say, I gave up, and this year I realised that New Year’s resolutions are silly, and that I naturally do lots of new things in a year anyway. I also now know that I’ll never be able to do a pull up, and I’m fine with that.

27/5/21

I think this was my only tripod shot. And here I am, getting a blog post together.

10/6/21

I have no shame. Yep. that’s me on the loo.

14/6/21

It’s funny to see how my clothes change as the seasons do too. Buddy is in a lot of the shots. I’m sure he’s looking at me here thinking “She’s so… weird.

25/7/21

Well, I am. A bit.

2/8/21

But you love me Buddy, and newsflash, we’re all weird. Even you, my furry friend.

7/8/21

And yeah, even away, in our friends’ house, I had to get my weird on. Sometimes I’d do a last millisecond pose, just to change things up.

10/8/21

This ones also makes me laugh. I’ll call it ‘Life at the edge of the sun’.

27/8/21

In the house in the Cotswolds. I like the tones in this one.

14/9/21

So strange to see this room when it was white. I have no idea why we left it so long before we changed the colour in there. It looks so boring and cold compared to how it is now. And yes, Buddy is allowed on the table, because who’s to say he wouldn’t be up there when we’re not in anyway? I draw the line if he’s just been to the loo, but going by my logic, he probably goes up there when he has, when we’re not in - ha!

21/9/21

Me and the moon. Howling at it? Turning into a werewolf? Joking aside, it was a stunning full moon.

I’ll post more of these soon. Hey - that rhymes! Noice.

That moment when you realise February is over

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I should’ve known better, I should’ve remembered. February always kicks my butt. It tends to grab me tightly, pushing me into a dark corner that I can’t always get myself out of. My one sure fire remedy that has worked in the past wasn’t available this year (begins with p and ends with onds), and I’ve tried to keep afloat while accepting that sometimes you feel low and that it’s ok to just go with it. But then, sure as day follows night, March has arrived and things don’t feel as bad. We’re eight weeks into our second strict lockdown with a few months left (although some loosening of the restrictions are coming before summer), and the combination of everyone staying at home and the vaccine rollout is finally pushing our (insane) numbers in the right direction is great news. I did manage to try a few new things within our strict parameters, like running without music, which I’ve never done for the past eight years, as well as running with Mr Famapa (with Oomoo coming along on his bike), taking cold baths (intense let me tell you, but very meditative at the same time), learning how to play chess, and turning Wednesday evenings into (board) games night . There were also a couple of things I watched which felt like balm for the soul. Winter Walks on BBC iPlayer brought beautiful vistas from northern England, for which I very was grateful (I pretty much stopped going outside apart from the runs), and Pretend it’s a City, which has had me smiling the whole way through. I also started watching Wandering Thomas, who films Amsterdam and other cities in the Netherlands as he walks through the streets, which has almost been as good as being there (especially the surreal moment when he walks past my BFF’s apartment building in one of them!), and Not Just Bikes' live streams from his bike rides around the ‘Dam. Seeing as this post is all about sharing some of my self-prescribed “medicines”, I’ll also pass on THE song that has had our household grooving for the last month. Maybe it’ll get you going too. So long February! I’ll make sure I’m better prepared for you next year 😑