Right at the beginning of the summer holidays Oomoo suggested that we went to back to Hever Castle, bringing our friends C and A with us, and a bloody good idea it was too. Last time we went, three years ago, it was a scorching hot day, but no such luck this year. Heavy rain was forecast for midday, so we headed inside the castle straight after lunch. What’s the back story on this place then? Well, I’ll tell you (hahaha). The oldest part of the castle dates from 1270 (!), but has been added to for centuries, and is most famous as the childhood and family home of Anne Boleyn, King Henry the VIII’s second wife in the early 1500’s. Henry the VIII is probably the UK’s most famous king, what with his six marriages and the initiating the English Reformation. In the end he had Anne Boleyn executed on account of adultery (although it was never proven), and eventually gave Hever Castle to his fourth wife Anne of Cleves, who got away with a bog standard divorce (there’s a rhyme that most English school kids get taught so they remember the fate of the different wives that goes: "Divorced, Beheaded, Died: Divorced, Beheaded, Survived” - nice guy, eh?). Centuries later the wealthy American William Waldorf Astor (the richest man in America at the time) bought the castle and set about to restore it as it had fallen into decline. It’s now owned by a Yorkshire businessman who buys old historical houses and opens them up to the public.

So, let’s head in. Voila, the portcullis. Does it remind you of the Jaws film poster? It does me.

We had to queue for a bit in the courtyard before entering which gave us a chance to have a closer look at the Tudor style exterior of this section.

There’s quite a mish mash of styles in the house, some being more historical and other how the Astors had it. This pictures doesn’t do the room justice (it’s actually sectioned off, so you can’t enter it, and muggins here never has a zoom lens on the camera). It’s a lovely room, with beautiful intarsia wood panelling.

My lovely friend C, taking a pic.

A portrait of Anne Boleyn. I had to take a picture, because as a Swede her surname here made me laugh. Bullen = Bun. Trust me, it’s funnier in Swedish. If you’re 5. Or 46.

You know I have a window addiction, right? I can’t help it.

A view across to the Astor Wing, or Tudor Village as it’s also called (now a hotel), which was built by Astor and not the Tudors, in 1903, in the Tudor style. Confused yet? Tudor architecture was the architecture du jour during Henry the VII’s reign, that also had a revival in the late 1800’s when it was called Tudor Style or Mock Tudor. If you’ve been to London and to the department store Liberty’s you’ve seen Mock Tudor.

It got a bit busy in this room so I waited a bit so I could get this picture without any 21st century people in it. There was a moment earlier when a kid (8 or 9 years old) freaked out as the guided audio tour had just told him that this room was haunted. The sheer terror in his voice! Poor guy.

As I result of hanging back I missed going into this room with Oomoo, who has a fear of dummies like these. He’s never liked them, so I assume he walked past these guys quickly. This is Henry and Anne innit. And a monstrous hand (there was some sort of trail for younger kids to spot through out the house). Can you spot it?

Some nice light and colours in one of the corridors.

I think my taste is changing as I get older. I never liked this style of painting before, but I like the flatness of them now. I think being forced to look at different styles of art in the past 18 months has broaden my view.

This was once Astor’s daughter’s room, or maybe it was a guest bedroom - I can’t remember.. There was another room next door with flowery wallpaper on the walls, as well as the ceiling, and me and C ohh and ahhed over how much we liked it. C said “It’s happened. We’ve gotten so old we now like chintz”. Yep.

And here we are - the chintz liking ladies.

This room had horrible medieval weapons and torture contraptions in it. This iron mask was worn by women for months or years as punishment for adultery amongst other things, to humiliate and punish them in public. There were loads of different masks, specifically for women, and I asked the guide in the room (male) that it seemed a bit unfair that only the women got punished like this, and the men weren’t. He didn’t like the implication of my comment at all, and proceeded to proudly show us an implement that was used to slice women breasts off. It made me think he had issues with women, and would probably have really enjoyed being a man back then.

And then, the sun came out and so did we. Ciao castle!

Mazes are so a-mazeing. I want them to be larger than the ones I’ve been to - I want to get properly lost. Mr Famapa says there’s an order to how many lefts and rights you should take to make your way out without hitting a dead end, so walking them with him is always a quick experience. And here there was, once we got to the middle of it, a straight line out to the exit - which was a cheat.

Edgy hedge.

Piggy hedge.

I like the wildflower meadow planting that we’re all realising is good to have now.

At Hever there is also a water maze, which you walk through trying not to get wet if you’re an adult, and the opposite if you’re not. The maze is a circular stone tile walkway that sprays water if you step on the 'wrong’ tile. For some reason I didn't bring spare clothes for Oomoo (even though we’d been before), so he had to sit in the car for the two hour drive home afterwards completely drenched.

More nice planting.

Best mates statue alert. I love how they’re just hanging out, having a chat.

Let’s see it from the front. It looks like the eagle is telling his pal about the time he accidentally ate a grumpy male guide in the castle 😉.

This is what a lot of summer in the UK 2021 looked like - April in other words. I’m so glad we ignored the weather forecast and just went anyway. If you’re looking for a day out outside London I say GO; I thought I wouldn’t enjoy it as much the second time, but I was pleasantly surprised. And if we hadn’t gone on a rainy day I wouldn’t have got this shot, and that would’ve been a shame.